I watched with avid fascination… first she used her thumb to flip open the top. Then the thumb and forefinger of her right hand to squeeze out the blue jelly looking stuff on to the tiny brush she held in her left hand. Next she flicked closed the top of the tube and placed it back on the bench… I could go on but it may get a little dull after step 27.
This is essentially what we mean by ‘modelling’. Modelling can be defined as taking a system, procedure, or respected person as an example to follow or imitate. As proposed by Albert Bandura in 1977, with his social learning theory, modelling is how most human behaviour is learned.
Somewhere along the way we tend to distort this natural learning style from an active curiosity to a more passive self-comparison. Continuing with the opening example, this might then look like “I want a brush like hers”, “she does that so much better than I’d ever be able to” etc.
When we compare, our focus tends to be on what we don’t have and our inner critic has a field day yabbering away in our heads about our deficiencies and lack, undermining our growth and progression, and constantly seeking further evidence to justify its tirade.
When we model, our focus is on the results that we would like to move towards, and how we can learn what’s required to get there. With this attitude we seek out those who have achieved our desired results. We are empowered to question what beliefs, characteristics, attitudes, standards, language and actions they have developed and employed to get those results. We look at the situation more objectively, breaking down the steps required to move us forward, and then taking action to implement them.
With comparison we tend to want things to be handed to us. We want to magically transform into the person who has reached that ‘finish’ point. And we have on our rose-coloured glasses about what that ‘finish’ point actually looks like. With modelling we don’t want to be someone else, rather we choose to get curious about what works and actively engage in following those steps while still bringing our own unique flavour to the mix and igniting our own growth along the way.
Pause for a moment… take off the rose-coloured view of others… discern who is getting the results you truly want… and reclaim your innate curiosity in service of your path forward.
